be broken

Sometimes the truth and the depth of the Gospel hits you again like a brick. 

This happened to me yesterday as I read the beginning of Jeremiah. I'll be honest- I began my time in the Word pretty begrudgingly. I was feeling empty and I didn't think there was anything God could say to soften my heart that day...

I'm so glad that I was wrong. 

I don't have much to say about it, but I wanted to share these words from God today because maybe someone is feeling the same way that I was yesterday. 

I love how it works. First, I read Jeremiah 2. 

Jeremiah 2:

"But my people have exchanged their glorious God 
   for worthless idols...

They have forsaken me,
    the spring of living water,
and have dug their own cisterns,
    broken cisterns that cannot hold water...

You said, It’s no use!
    I love foreign gods,
    and I must go after them...

My people have forgotten me,
    days without number.
³³ How skilled you are at pursuing love!...

Yet in spite of all this
³⁵     you say, I am innocent;
    he is not angry with me.


Yep that's me. 

Trying to hold my own water in a broken cistern instead of going to the spring of life.

I pursue love elsewhere. 

I have exchanged the glory of God for worthless idols. 

But then- in the very next chapter I hear the grace that I do not deserve. Read this! 

Jeremiah 3:

Return, faithless Israel, declares the Lord,
    I will frown on you no longer,
for I am faithful,’ declares the Lord,
    I will not be angry forever...

Return, faithless people, declares the Lord, for I am your husband. I will choose you...

How gladly would I treat you like my children
    and give you a pleasant land,
    the most beautiful inheritance of any nation.’
I thought you would call me ‘Father’
    and not turn away from following me.

That is GRACE people. And it's overwhelming! 

I do not deserve His love and faithfulness. But He gives it to me anyway. 

He asks me to call Him F A T H E R . 

He CHOOSES me despite my faithlessness.

So cherish His grace today. Let it sweetly break your heart.

you're not good enough

The enemy has gotten a lie stuck in my head

A lie that seems to be chasing me around every corner lately

A lie that steals my joy and cripples my ability to pursue my dreams

A lie that most of the time I'm not quite sure is a lie

"I'm not good enough"

It repeats itself in my head regularly. Every mistake. Every choice. Everyday.

And I fight and I fight and I fight to prove Satan wrong.

"I am good enough!" I tell myself.

I work harder. I try harder. I struggle longer.

And yet.. I continue to  F A I L . 

But I've finally realized that it isn't a lie

I'm not good enough. What a relief. I'm not good enough

The culture keeps telling me to believe in myself. Be confident in who I am. And never let anyone tell me that I'm not good enough 

But our culture is wrong again. Is anyone really surprised by that? 

I'm not good enough 

I need Jesus. 

I need G R A C E .

Praise God for He is good enough. And He loves me regardless of my mess

But when I tell myself over and over again that I am good enough, I ignore my need for grace and my need for Jesus

I keep finding my worth in how much I love Jesus and not how much He loves me

I keep finding my value in how much I do for the Kingdom instead of how much Jesus did for me

And finally here I am. Learning that God will not let us ignore grace for long. 

Eventually we will all realize how desperately we need it. 

My worth cannot come from how good I am. It cannot come from how much I love Jesus, how much spiritual fruit I bear,or how many things in my life I get right according to what we learn in church. 

And I cannot keep trying to earn the favor of God or man by being good enough. 

Because it's not going to happen and because God has already given me good things and will continue to work for my good regardless of how good I am. 

Because grace isn't just about not getting what we deserve, it's about getting what we don't deserve. 

If I was good enough, I would deserve it. 

But I'm not and I don't and that is what makes it grace. 

So find freedom in admitting that you aren't good enough and you never will be.  

And then find joy in the good news:

Because you aren't good enough, you don't deserve anything but God loves you anyway. He wants to save you from the sin that makes you feel empty and He wants to have a relationship with you and  bless you with good things. 

That's grace people.

So glorify God because He deserves all of the praise. 

The Still Small Voice

I don't always do the things that God asks me to do. And I think that can probably be said for just about every Christian ever...ever.

And sometimes I just ignore what I know am supposed to do but I also think a lot of the time, it's because I talk talk myself out of it with a very crafty question from Satan that he's been asking since the Garden of Eden: "Did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the garden?"(Gen 3:1)

Did God really say that? 

Did He really?

Sometimes we hear the voice of the Holy Spirit asking us to do something we may think seems crazy or scary or even just uncomfortable. And instead of doing it- we ask the question "Did God really say that?" 

So many of us struggle with what God wants us to do. It's what I've been struggling with since I graduated high school. What does He want me to do after school? Where does He want to use me? What is the answer in this situation? Sometimes I think that if He would just write it out for me, I'd happily do it. I just want to know!

But that's just not how we hear from Him usually and instead when we hear the still small voice of the Holy Spirit, we don't know how to discern it from our own voice or the voices of the enemy and it keeps us from doing the greatest things that God's calling us to. 

So what's the solution?

I've been begging God for an answer and I feel like I've finally gotten one. It's surprisingly simple. 

Knowing His voice. 

Easier said than done, right?

But we cannot do all of the specific things that the Lord is calling us to until we learn to discern His voice. 

"His sheep follow him because they know his voice." John 10:4

We have to be in tune with the voice of the Holy Spirit. Plain and simple. 

So how?

Well, that question is a little more complicated but this I know to be true: 

When you seek the Lord, you find Him. (Matt. 7:7)

Seek His voice so often that you know it.

Stop asking God to write it in the skies for you and instead learn to listen. 

Seek His voice diligently.

Then see the crazy adventures He will take you on when are obedient to His voice. 

wishful praying

When I was little I used to wish on my birthday candles that my aunt would accept Jesus in her heart. When I was 12 she did. But it wasn’t because I wished on my birthday candles; it was because my mom, my family, and myself prayed relentlessly for her salvation.

When I was little I didn’t quite know the difference between a wish and a prayer and the truth is that I think it’s a more common mistake then you may think.

Do you ever feel like the prayers you breathe to God are more like a wish and less like a powerful promise that you can put your faith in? I do.

I don’t bank on them- because I’m not sure that they can be trusted. The honest truth is that a lot of times I don’t have faith in them. They’re just a wish list. And I’m left crossing my fingers and worrying about them all day.

But this isn’t the way it is supposed to be. Prayer is supposed to be powerful. My prayers are rooted in promises straight from the God of the Universe. I can expect that the Lord will honor my prayers prayed in faith and in confidence. And I can praise Him and rest in peace because I know that He will be faithful.

The dreams that the Lord has laid on my heart aren’t simply wishful thinking. They may seem crazy. They may seem foolish or illogical or impossible. But I don’t have to resign them to childish wishes that only happen in fairy tales. Disney says “a dream is a wish that your heart makes.” But I know that’s wrong. A dream is prayer that God lays on your heart- meant to be prayed with confidence and pursued in a way that glorifies the Lord who made you.

This summer God is teaching me a lot about prayer. And I think that I'm just touching on the tip of the iceberg! But I know this, if I learn how to pray in confidence and with expectation- it changes everything.

So don’t turn your prayers into wishes. And don’t dream on shooting stars.

Pray and dream with confidence that the Lord will come through.

“Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God” 

I John 3:21

“Who you become is determined by how you pray” – Mark Batterson, The Circle Maker 

one for the books

“I will still be confident in this, I will see the goodness of the Lord.

Be strong, take heart and wait for the Lord.”

Psalm 27:13-14

 An interesting thing I’ve noticed about God is this: Sometimes it’s hard to notice His faithfulness in the moment but when you look back, the evidence of it is ALWAYS there so plainly.

 That’s why when things come to end, such as my sophomore year in college, I think it’s important to reflect on all that the Lord has done.

 This second year of college has been incredible. I treasure the meaningful relationships I’ve been given with people who invest in me as I invest in them. The Lord has blessed me with a community of people that have taught me how to love well. He has given me lessons on joy and contentment and living intentionally.

 And the coolest part is that He has ended my year with the same lesson that it began with- a simple one, but one that can radically change your perspective when you learn to walk in it’s truth.

 God is good. He is ALWAYS good.

 Whether we see it in our immediate circumstances or not, He is still good.

 This year, I’ve seen the goodness of God and I’m blown away by His faithfulness.

 And when hard times come, because they surely will, I can look back and know that the Lord will be faithful once more.

 This year has been quite a journey. I’ve been uplifted, overjoyed, broken, loved, encouraged, disheartened, overwhelmed, and invested in. I’ve laughed till I can’t breathe, I’ve cried with my friends when our lives have gotten hard, and I’ve screamed Taylor Swift songs in the car on the way home from Sonic happy hour. I’ve held hands with people who love me and prayed for good test grades, hard decisions, broken relationships, and healing.

  And I’ll be driving home with a heart overflowing with joy.

 Never could I have imagined such a wonderful year as I drove to school in August,

 But that’s the best thing about God’s goodness and faithfulness- it’s always so much better than I could ever hope for.

 “Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.” Psalm 116:7

The Battle

“I seek you with all my heart,

do not let me stray from your commands”

Psalm 119:10

Something I have noticed about being attacked spiritually is that it usually happens when God is up to really big things.

It seems it always happens that when I am diligently pursuing the Lord and seeking His will, I begin to be attacked by the enemy.

Things suddenly get harder. I begin to feel discouraged. And it seems like everything is going wrong.

And so I start to question-

Is God really here in the midst of this?

Am I doing something wrong?

Can I trust that this is what the Lord wants?

My heart cries “God where are you?”

And I lose focus of what He is calling me to do and where He is asking me to be.

Logically, in the midst of resistance, I begin to second-guess the Lord and myself.

Essentially, I start doubting.

And that is exactly what the enemy wants.

If God is working in me and using me to glorify Him, should I expect the enemy stand by and let it happen?

Of course not!

And something I’ve come to realize is that some of the most exciting things that the Lord has done in my life are also the same things that were attacked the most.

When you dream big- when you dream the dreams of your Father and allow Him to use you for His glory, it won’t be easy.

In fact, the bigger the dream, the stronger the attack. Because the bigger the dream, the more that the enemy will want to stop it!

But you can rejoice in the struggle! Why?

1.     If you are being attacked, then that’s encouragement to you that the Lord is working in your life! Therefore, we can rejoice in suffering! (1 Peter 4:13)

2.     In spiritual warfare, the Lord has already won the battle! We can claim the victory in His name.

So if God is up to some big things in your life- expect the attack and be prepared for battle.

But don’t ever back down.

 In the name of Christ, press on toward the goal and win the prize: Jesus.

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7

He Gives and Takes Away

“The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1:21

For many people, myself included, when you talk about the Lord giving and taking away the focus is usually on the taking away part. For most of us, we struggle to bless the name of the Lord when times are hard and when He takes away.

But I also struggle with blessing the name of the Lord when He gives. Because sometimes I take His gifts and I cherish them more than I cherish Him.

When things are hard, I have to rely on the Lord and not on my own strength. I am daily forced on my knees and into His Word.

But when times are good, when the Lord gives, it’s easier for me to rely on my own self-sufficiency. I delude myself into thinking that I have it all figured out and that I am doing things right.

When the Lord gives me good things, I am tempted to find my joy in His gifts rather than allowing the joy of the Lord to be my strength!

So how do I choose to bless the name of the Lord when He gives?

I don’t know exactly.

But I know this: It is far better for me to rely on the strength of Lord than my own self-sufficiency.

So right about when you start thinking you’ve got your life together, you better think twice!

Jesus loves you way too much to let you pursue worldly things that He knows won't satisfy you in the end.

So be careful in times of blessing.

Do not forget the One who has blessed you.

And in all circumstances, when the Lord GIVES and when the Lord takes away, let your heart CHOOSE to say,

 “Lord, blessed be Your name.”